All done

Well, I did it. I had my first mammogram done. And guess what - it wasn't as bad as I feared. First of all, don't believe all those Internet jokes that you see. The girls don't come out flat like pancakes. Second, no, it didn't feel like vice grips twisting. Heck, they get more of a work out with DH (not like they get that often though.)

I got up this morning and debated when I wanted to go. I actually had a leisurely breakfast, a nice long hot shower and computer time. I did nothing constructive before hand. I actually had thought about doing this, that and the other first, but figured that why should I knock myself out doing things, when DH could help me with some of it (like putting clothes away... I swear he still doesn't have any ideas about the kids clothes, even though the drawers are labeled!). I went down around 11 thinking that the "rush" would be over. I walk in and there are 6 woman sitting there. All older than me. All giving me the once over. Do they wonder if there is something wrong since I'm so young? Are they there as a precaution, or is there something wrong? No one is really saying much of anything. I sign in and sit down.

One by one the others are called to the window. They go in a little room (thanks to HIPPA) and emerge a few moments later. They sit down and pick up reading from the dog eared magazines that have been read by the many before them. After sitting for about 15 minutes, they are called out, not to be seen from again. I can't ask them what it's like. I can't look at them to try to notice pain or discomfort. I can only sit and wonder a bit longer.

My turn comes to go into the little room. They ask the typical questions, your name, age, address, is this the current address, have you ever had one done before, has anyone had cancer? When I answer yes, the nurse starts typing more, and asks who and at what age and what type. She prints our conversation and I sign on the line stating I'll pay if my insurance doesn't and that I realize that my results will be back a week or so from now, due to having a computer also read them. I go back and find a new magazine and no sooner do I find a good article, it's time to go back.

The radiologist I had takes me in another room and asks me other questions: How many pregnancies? How many live births? Any surgeries for tumors? Have you taken any hormones and if so, how long? Do you realize how hard it was for me to figure out how long I've been on birth control? I was (and still am) on it for my endometrosis. We guess and then I go to change. I take off my top and bra and put on a one size fits none gown. I go into the room where there's this big contraption. It's too late to get cold feet. She's been doing this for 19 years and explains everything to me. She tells me how the plate is going to come down and she'll be poking me while she does it. This is to make sure the breast tissue is taunt. She'll then go behind the shield and take the picture. There are two different views for both breasts. She asks if I am ready. I am.

I walk over and plop my right breast on the plate. She said it would be cold - it wasn't too bad. She then starts lowing the other and I feel her pushing my breast like a baker kneading bread. She says it's perfect and to hold my breath and goes and takes the picture. The machine hums and stops. She comes out and lifts the top plate. I cover that boob back up and trade off with the other. Then we do the other views. She then tells me she'll be back in 7 minutes while she developed the film to be sure that everything came out ok. As I sat in the room, I wonder how many woman sat in the same chair, hoping for a positive result. I wondered how many sat there for the first time like me. And I wondered how many sat there, knowing the film would change their lives.

She came back and I was done. I got dressed and started to leave. I overheard the one woman that was in the lobby waiting with me saying it was a 6 month follow-up. I pray it came back clean.

I left and called DH. We met up for lunch. I had this delicious piece of crumb topped cod. It was so yummy!! So was the mixed steamed veggies I had. We chit-chatted and then left. I told him that I was going shopping. I needed new bra's. I figured since the girls were so good, I'd treat them to real bras, not the nursing ones I still wear (yes, I'm embarrassed to say I, for the most part, still wore them, as I didn't have many regular ones that fit). He asked if I was going to VS - told him sorry, wasn't paying that much for a bra.

I go to a local department store and get measured. I'm not telling the size, but once again, just another reason that I need to loose some weight. I will say that I'm an odd size, so I had to try a ton on to see which would fit. Twelve to be exact. Some were old woman looking. Some promised to give lift. Some were comfort straps. Who would think you'd need a degree to purchase a bra? I try different brands and settle on two as they not only were on sale, but I get one free by mail. Can't beat that. I also, for DH, stop at VS to see what they had on sale. I find one that is marked down to $29 (ouch!) but figured I needed a sexy black one. It was depressing though, looking at the mirror and seeing the flab rolling. Trust me - it was a motivator!

I get back after stopping a few more places, drop off groceries and go for the kids. M is being a drama queen... the one girl was cheating (or so she feels) on a game that she was winning and the girl pinched her. After explaining that some kids do that, we go to pick up W. I hold my breath when I go for him, waiting to be told that he bit again. I walk into his room and another boy comes over and "HI-YA's" me in the leg, then the knee. He's swinging like crazy. Not one teacher says a thing. I move and he runs over to W and starts taking the toy W is playing with. They're playing tug o' war with the thing. Once again - nothing from a teacher. I get W to go get his things from his cubby. He grabs his stuff and I have a note that he didn't bite! YEAH!!

Well, supper is over and DH is getting the kids in bed. I'm heading there too, as I have a headache. Think I left my nerves get the best of me. More later.