Do you do what your head says, or your heart?
Yesterday was a gorgeous fall day, so we decided to take the kids to the zoo. It was great seeing all the animals, the changing leaves and most of all - different scenery. We spent the entire day watching the world go by without any cares in the world (almost). We did know that we would be calling D as she called DH and told him she "needed" her birth certificate. We called her when we were ready to leave so that she could meet us and get it.
Fast forward to a few blocks from where she lives... she met us at a U-Haul rental place. As soon as the kids saw her, they were ecstatic! M kept asking if she was coming home with us - W kept yelling "SISSY!!!". We took her to pick up an ice tea at the store, then took her home. She said that she hadn't finished her correspondence class since I told her that the school district probably wouldn't let her finish since she wasn't in the area anymore. She's planning on going to a technical school now... how, without a degree, I'm not sure. I called her today to try to talk some sense into her, but it didn't work. She just got standoffish, and I ended up hanging up on her. Sorry, but I'm not wasting money on someone getting smart with me on the phone. Now, here is the problem: I don't want her here anymore. I'm done. Over. Kaput. I refuse to continue to have my heart broken by her. I'm tired of listening to her lies - or wondering if, for once, she might be telling the truth. I've basically disowned her. I'm tired of having the little one's be yo-yo'ed by her. Now the big problem is with M... her birthday is 3 weeks away and D told her she would be here. What do I do? Tell D not to come, then have M disappointed or let her, only for the kids to be devastated when she leaves? Again. She said today that we told her to get out. Wrong. We told her we weren't fighting her any longer and that if she wanted to go, leave. She still hasn't told her father and I told her that it's her job since she's so grown. Help! Should I cancel her insurance? Should I notify the school? Where do you draw the line?
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Random thoughts from a mother who's children should be investing in haircoloring for dear old mom with their birthday money proceeds!
About this blog
I first started this blog as a mom to children dealing with depression, ADHD and the terrible two's. Now, it's more about life in general. Either way, grab a cup of joe and pull up a chair - it should be an interesting adventure.
1 comment:
If she wants to stand on her own 2 feet and be an adult, then you need to let her. You can love her and still not want her to be around. Leave a place open in your heart for the day when she grows up and stops blaming everyone else for her issues.
The next time she calls and wants a birth certificate or something else, tell her no. She needs to figure out how to write to the county she was born in and pay for a copy. Insurance! No, she needs to pay for her adult insurance herself.
Right now she is trying to find the boundries. You need to make sure that you have a very strong one in place. No you can't have any money; no, the house doesn't have a revolving door; no, you can't play with the other children's emotions, etc.
Birthday party - she should send a card. Why? Because soon she will start filling their heads with her crap. You don't need that.
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